In Repair
by Silent Dirge
Summary: Completed. StevePony slash. Trying to forget Johnny, Pony turns to someone else for love someone very unlikely.
1. Letters

In Repair.  
  
Rated: PG-13 for limeyness. Other than that, nothing too explicit. Sorry, lemon fans. Maybe I'll write an R fic later. ^_~  
  
After the book. Since so many people seemed to like my "Undertow" fic, and the Steve/Pony pairing, I thought I should make a longer one. The main idea of this fic spawned from a review given to me by crazy4nc128; I can't say it in the authour's notes. It'll kill the point of reading the damn fic.   
  
I love you?   
  
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"Why did you do this to me?  
  
You left me alone. Heartbroken. You were so close to me; so much like me. I couldn't admit it to you; not when you were alive, in that damn church, or even on your deathbed. I couldn't even kiss you goodbye. I was in love with you. I know that now. You hurt me, and I couldn't cry or talk about it; I couldn't hurt myself, couldn't do nothin. I could barely say goodbye...  
  
I guess, now that's it been at least three months, it's not as painful. The emotional wounds healed, but the scar still remains. I was too late to tell you, so now I guess I can just tell it to myself. That's all I can do. Because even Sodapop, the one person that I could love as much as you, would look down at me like scum. It's not right to love a person of the same gender. But I did, and still do."  
  
Ponyboy sighed, and dropped the pencil. He knew that he might as well throw this out now, as if anyone found it, he'd be in big trouble. He didn't like having to write these letters to a dead boy; the only reason he did it was to lessen the stress of keeping his unrequited affections a secret. He couldn't tell Johnny, or Sodapop, or anyone. He had to keep it inside now. And pray that it would eventually leave him, opening his heart for someone else.   
  
Running his right hand through his red hair, he scrunched up the paper into a small ball and threw it in the nearby wastebasket. He couldn't do this anymore; so tonight would be his last time worrying about it. He'd continue to move on, and forget he ever loved the tanned faced, puppy-like boy he'd been so close to. Yawning, Pony rubbed his eyes tiredly and stood up from his chair. He guessed even Darry had probably went to bed by now, as he tried to do these writings late at night, where no one would see him.   
  
He flicked off the light switch in the kitchen and wandered in the thick darkness inside the house, using only his memorization of all locations in the house. He did stumble over a cord or some strange object he couldn't identify, but not loud enough to wake anyone up. Opening the door to his and Soda's bedroom, he entered and closed the door slowly behind him.  
  
The outline of Soda could be seen in the darkness. He was sprawled on his back, arms over his head, the bedsheet lying in small patches over his legs. Pony grinned; his brother must be having a dream that required alot of movement. By the way Soda was mumbling, he could tell he was right. Undoing the zipper of his jeans, he shed the clothing and lay down next to Soda, head resting on his older brother's chest. Slowly and faintly, he could hear the gentle 'thump thump' of Soda's heart beating.  
  
  
  
"G'night, Soda." Pony said quietly, and closed his eyes. The sound of Soda's heartbeats faded as he fell into waves of sleep.  
  
~~~  
  
"I KNOW KUNG FU!"  
  
Pony opened his green eyes suddenly at the sound. A series of screeches, crashes, and laughter rang through the house, and he groaned. His body was still tired; it was a weekend, he didn't need to be woken up by one of the gang's stupidity. Rolling over and burying his head into the pillow, he tried to go back to sleep. Soda's absence told him one thing; he was most likely going to have to do the dishes.   
  
  
  
"HIYA!" Another cry, followed by more laughter. Pony let out a frustrated grunt and pushed himself off the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He'd go and yell at whoever was making the noise to quit it, or go somewhere else. He needed sleep, and no loud, annoying greaser was going to take that from him. Looking into the kitchen, he saw Soda reaching into a drawer, pulling out five silver forks.   
  
"Glory, can't you guys let me sleep?!" Pony hissed in a irritated fashion; lack of sleep was showing, and he was grumpy. His older brother turned his golden head towards the redhead, and gave him a blank expression.   
  
"Oh, sorry Pone. Didn't know you were that tired, with all that mumblin' and movin' around you did last night." Sodapop walked past his younger brother and opened a cabinet, extracting five plates from it. Pony looked at Soda, and felt bad he was so grumpy towards him. It was his own fault he stayed up so late.  
  
"Sorry Soda...just couldn't sleep good." He turned his head sharply at the sound of Steve laughing, the seventeen-year-old's high laughter would give him a headache. As if Steve didn't ALREADY give Pony headaches.   
  
Soda tapped Pony on the shoulder and handed him a plate with a single fried egg and a large chunk of chocolate cake on it, along with a fork. With a nod, Pony took the offering from Soda and moved into the living room to see which two idiots were making the noise. Not like he'd do anything about it; he'd just watch them until Darry got angry and told them to go outside and throw rocks at cars or something.  
  
He was greeted by the sight of Two-Bit fighting his way out of Steve's headlock. He watched Two-Bit trying to bite into Steve's arm, whimpering. Pony laughed; and Two-Bit growled loudly and hit Steve hard. The seventeen year old just grinned widely, and strangled the joker even more.  
  
"I can't breathe!" Two-Bit started fake coughing, and Steve furrowed his eyebrows and loosened his grip. With a sly grin, Two-Bit broke free of his grasp and tackled him into the table, knocking them both onto the floor where they continued to wrestle. Pony shrugged and sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and ate his breakfast while watching the two older greasers struggle with each other.  
  
A sudden crash greeted his ears and he looked up from his cake. Steve's leg had caught onto a cord as he was rolling across the floor, and as he moved, pulled the lamp along with him. The crash had been the lamp falling onto the ground; Pony stood up to see the mess, and the two older greasers had stopped fighting to look at the broken fragments. Two-Bit gulped and tried to sneak away, but Steve caught him around the waist and held him in place.  
  
"Naw ya don't, sneaky bastard!" Steve snickered as Two-Bit growled more, pulling Steve's arms off him.   
  
"But I don't wanna have to clean! I'm LAZY!" Two-Bit squirmed and tried to pry off Steve, but the seventeen year old rolled over and flattened Two-Bit onto the floor. "And besides, YOU knocked it over!"  
  
"And it was YOU who started attackin' me with those bad kung-fu moves of yours!" Steve hissed, struggling to keep Two-Bit from escaping.  
  
"And it was YOU who drank all my beer!" Two-Bit elbowed Steve in the ribs hard, but the swirly-haired boy wouldn't even flinch.  
  
Pony watched as the two elder greasers bickered over who did what, and he sighed; going into the kitchen, he grabbed the broom and dustpan to clean up their mess. It would never get done if he left it to them. Soda grinned at Pony as he watched him go.  
  
Pony, re-entering the living room, and quietly going about his cleaning business, swept up the broken shards and bits of the lamp, and gathered the larger chunks to dump in the garbage can. Two-Bit and Steve were still in the heat of battle; now they were snarling at each other like two wolves over a piece of meat. Pony was carrying his second handful of the mess into the kitchen, when Darry walked into the living room, leaning against the doorframe with a cold, blank expression on his face.   
  
"I should skin you both for bein' so damned annoyin'." Darry's voice made both of them stop their bickering and look at him. They knew it was best to just go get some breakfast now. Darry was foreboding as it was; a grumpy Darry was even worse. Pony just grinned and dropped the last bit of the lamp into the trash. Sometimes it was good to have a big, tough older brother.  
  
~~~   
  
Steve growled inside. Why did Ponyboy come tagging along with him and Sodapop yet again? Doesn't he have his own friends to cling onto and annoy? Sure, the kid wasn't saying anything, but his mere presence made the overly-greasy haired boy uneasy. He just wanted to be with Soda. Not the kid; that kid's the reason Steve hated being in their house anymore. Being around Pony didn't seem to just bother Steven Randle anymore; it made him feel like he did around Evie almost. He just shrugged it off as frustration. But there was something about him...  
  
"So Pony, what's for dinner?" Soda piped up in a cheery tone, his usual grin across his handsome face. Pony was smiling up at his brother.  
  
"Me and Darry made dinner last night. It's your turn now." Pony said in a cheeky tone, and Soda frowned.  
  
"Can't ya just be nice and make it for me an extra night?" He looked down at his younger brother and gave him the best puppy-dog eyes he could muster.  
  
Pony's breathe caught in his throat. Puppy dog eyes...so much like...Johnny...  
  
"Hey kid?" Pony was brought back to reality by the snap of fingers. He turned his head to look at Steve; the expression on his face looked indifferent, but Soda looked worried. Pony swallowed hard and tried to clear his thoughts. Steve was also trying to clear his thoughts; those thoughts being of how cute Pony looked when he was blushing.  
  
"You feelin' okay?" Soda ruffled his younger brother's hair, and Pony nodded quickly. Yes, he was okay. He was okay that Johnny was gone, that he couldn't stop thinking about him. He was fine, he was fine...  
  
Steve sighed and grabbed Soda's shoulder, making the blonde turn his head. "I gotta go, Evie's gonna get mad if I'm late. See ya." And without waiting for Soda to say goodbye, he turned and walked off. Soda just shrugged.  
  
But Pony noticed something Soda didn't. There was a glint in Steve's eye as he said that; something he'd never seen before. And Pony knew he'd been looking at him.  
  
~~~  
  
Steve unlocked the door to his house, to be greeted by silence. Nobody was home, and he thanked the existence of bars for his peace and quiet. Slamming the door to make sure it was closed, he went straight to take a shower. Some good hot water might clear his head.  
  
He stood in front of the mirror, looking at himself. Dark brown hair, heavily greased and swirled, with a few strands sticking out at the front. Angry, smoldering brown eyes. Muscular shoulders and chest. He looked anything but someone who'd like the fourteen year old brother of his best friend; a fourteen year old with warm green-grey eyes, reddish brown hair, and a cuter blush than any girl he'd even seen...  
  
Steve hissed between his teeth, and fought down the urge to smash the glass before him. He couldn't like Pony; he hated him, the little annoying tagalong that couldn't stop clinging to Soda, for fear he'd die. A gruesome grin crossed Steve's face as he thought up a mental image of Pony, all alone and crying. Right after the thought passed, a feeling of sadness and guilt ran through him, and he growled in frustration. Throwing off his muscle shirt, he turned on the tap for the shower.  
  
There was no way. He hated Pony, and that was that.  
  
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Excuse the lateness on the fic. I did this over a few days; but lack of sleep and a cold does make you lazy. So, tell me whatcha think! And yes, this will be multi-chaptered! Whoo! 


	2. Aozora

In Repair; Chapter 2: "Aozora" (Blue Sky in Japanese)  
  
Excuse lateness. Schoolwork and lack of ideas, as well as sleep loss and laziness doesn't add up good. As for the chapter title, I have recently discovered a j-pop singer named Shiina Ringo, and that song in which I named the title off helped me write this chapter.  
  
And to my ten reviewers - I love you.   
  
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"Not a cloud in the sky today, eh Pone?"   
  
Sodapop retracted his head from the rusty, old window and focused on the dishes he was washing. Running the soaked cloth across the white plate, he reached up to scratch his head, leaving a few suds from his hands. He turned his head slightly to the right, to look over his shoulder at his younger brother.   
  
"Pone, you with me here?" Soda cracked a grin, and Pony looked up from his homework slowly.  
  
"Oh, sorry Soda. Math." Ponyboy looked back down at the white sheet before him, furrowing his brows momentarily, then taking his pencil and scribbling down an answer.   
  
"I said, sky's real clear today. After you're done, why don't we go for a walk or somethin'?" The blonde asked cheerfully, looking out the window again.   
  
"Sure..." Pony knew what'd his older brother would do; he'd ring up Steve and ask him if he'd like to come with. And Pony was praying inside that he wouldn't. Since yesterday, Pony couldn't forget that look the seventeen year old had given him. And he didn't really want to find out...  
  
With a clink of a plate being placed in the soapy water, Soda grabbed a dry towel and wiped his hands. "Pone, can you finish these last three plates fer me? I'm gonna go see if Stevie wants 'ta come."  
  
I'm goddamn psychic! Pony's inner voice said in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah yeah, I will." Dropping the writing utensil, the redheaded boy rolled up his sweater's sleeves and reached into the foamy water. He heard Soda wander into the next room to phone Steve.   
  
Steve... what was up with him? What was that little glint in his eye all about? Pony furrowed his brows and scrubbed chocolate icing residue off the white surface of the plate. It wasn't a typical Steve-type glare, the kind he gave Pony constantly...it was different...  
  
And it made Pony's inside go cold whenever he thought about it.  
  
"Hey Pony!" Soda's yelling made the fourteen year old jump, and he whirled around to face the blonde, suds flying. "Stevie's gonna come, kay?"   
  
"Great." Pony tried his hardest not to sound sarcastic, but Soda didn't notice. The blonde grinned and approached the redhead.  
  
"I think I'll finish these off with ya, okay? and then we'll head out." Soda reached into the water readily and pulled out the last dish, his usual bouncy nature about him. Pony just shook his head.  
  
"What about my homework?" Pony's maturing voice questioned his older brother. Soda just laughed good-naturedly.  
  
"School's stupid!" was the blonde's only reply.  
  
----  
  
"So, how's girlfriend huntin' workin' out for ya Soda?" Steve's soft voice asked his best friend, who simply shrugged.  
  
"Haven't got around to goin' out and findin' anyone yet." The blonde seemed indifferent to the question, and turned to his younger brother, who had walked in silence with the two older boys since they'd left the house. "How 'bout you, Pone? Found any lookers you'd like to go with?"  
  
Pony shook his rusty head. No, there was no girls. 'And there won't be, until I stop loving a certain tan-skinned, black haired boy...' Pony's inner voice seemed to be full of sadness, and he felt it. Three months, almost four, and he still hadn't moved on. Why?...  
  
Steve, on the other hand, snarled inside. Both at the thought of Pony being with anyone but himself; and at the thought of him liking Pony. One side said he was in self-denial; the other said it was a sign he needed to sex up Evie soon. If this continued, he'd go insane for sure...and so far, the self-denial side was winning. By a long shot.  
  
Steve took a glance out of the corner of his eye at the younger boy. He was talking to Soda, his face angled up to face his older brother. He studied Pony's face, taking in every detail. The high cheekbones, the pale flesh that looked like it would be soft to touch, like silk. Long eyelashes, soft pink lips...Steve licked his own lips at the thought of kissing the younger boy. Deciding to let his thoughts go as they pleased, he couldn't help but fantasize about the boy; soft and moaning, beneath him...  
  
Shaking his head quickly, he fought down the thoughts. The was sickened with himself, and yet...pleased. He could easily take the boy and have a little fun with him, to see why he was so attracted to him. But then again, Pony would definitely tell Soda if Steve touched him anywhere...and that put his friendship with Sodapop in major jeopardy. He needed to figure out these feelings; if he didn't, he had no idea what would happen...or what he would do.  
  
The three boys were slowly approaching the park, and Pony had went into a deep silence. Steve watched the younger boy's expression go from a smile to a blank stare, eyes clouded. He walked faster, and wandered into the park. Soda turned his head to look at Steve, who shrugged. Soda returned his attention to Pony, and followed after. Pony had stopped, staring at the fountain in the center of the park. Steve trailed behind slowly, kicking himself for mentally calling Pony an annoying child. Then kicked himself again for kicking himself to begin with.   
  
Pony's grey-green eyes were staring at the fountain, clouded with a past memory. He didn't even notice the sounds of the children laughing around him, the cars passing by; all was silent, except the voices inside his mourning head.  
  
'I almost drowned here...and then...you saved me...' He began to feel cold, like he was as the Socs drowned him within the icy waters four months ago. Cold and choking...so close to death himself.  
  
'Why? If you had let me die, you could be with everyone still...it wouldn't have happened, all of it.' Pony's eyes were seeing only a memory.  
  
"If I'd let you die, alot more people would have been sad." An familiar, ethereal voice answered his question.  
  
Pony's head snapped up at the sound. That voice...he knew it so well. But no one was around, save a few laughing children playing tag nearby. He looked around, eyes darting everywhere. Where? Where? Where are you?  
  
"Pony, what's wrong?" Soda's worried voice came from his right side, and Pony turned his head quickly to look at his older brother. "Oh..."   
  
Pony realized there were tears on his cheeks. Blushing, he wiped them away quickly on his sleeve and looked at the ground. He'd been crying; right in front of Soda too. And Steve had been watching as well; the swirly-haired greaser was standing next to Soda, looking at Pony. But Pony didn't see that glint in Steve's eye. One of worry, the other of laughter at the sight of the young greaser crying silently.  
  
"Pone, you don't look so good..." Soda's voice was heavy with worry as he gently stroked the redhead's hair. "Let's go home, alright?"  
  
"Kay Soda." Pony's almost voiceless reply came.  
  
-------  
  
"Don't tell Darry what happened, okay?" Pony pleaded with Soda, who shook his blonde mane and grinned. "Please Soda! I didn't mean to cry! I'm fine, really!" his pleading wasn't gettin through to the blonde. With a heavy sigh, he gave up.  
  
"Darry deserves to know when somethin's buggin' ya. I'd like to know what it was too, if it's not too big a deal." Soda perked his left eyebrow, giving off a very Two-Bit-like effect. Pony swallowed hard and shook his head.  
  
"Just memories of what happened..." was the fourteen year old's weak reply.  
  
"Oh." Soda's eyebrows raised; he had been expecting somethin more. But, nonetheless, he swung his arm around his younger brother's shoulders and hugged him. Pony smiled faintly, and Soda grinned. "Don't worry about that anymore, okay? Those two are in a better place now."  
  
Pony attempted to perk an eyebrow, which he had gotten slightly better at, but still looked slightly lopsided. "Even Dally?"  
  
Soda flashed a grin. "He probably likes all those devil chicks down there. He's always liked 'em firey."  
  
-----  
  
Pony lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Soda was fast asleep, and Darry had gone to bed at least an hour ago. The young boy couldn't sleep; his mind was still focused on the voice he'd swore he'd heard in the park. He knew he'd heard it before; just couldn't put his finger on it. Inside, he knew it was obvious; just needed to give it a name. Biting his lip, he started making shapes out the shadows on the ceiling for the tenth time that night.   
  
'Where was that from?' His brain was tired, and he closed his eyes. He couldn't think anymore; maybe it would come to him tomorrow; possibly in a dream. Slowly, waves of sleep passed over him, and he fell into slumber, snuggled up to his older brother.  
  
------  
  
Inside the dream was pure darkness. All around Pony; silence, emptiness, black like the feathers on a raven. His footsteps echoed eerily as he walked about. It was like he was awake, but yet, he could feel his body back in the living world snuggled up to Soda, his older brother's warmth and scent washing over him. What was this?  
  
A quiet chuckle echoed through the shapeless place, and Pony turned his head. The sight that greeted him made him drop his mouth open in disbelief.  
  
"Long time no see."  
  
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Yay! Second chapter DONE! Cliffhanger! Oh the evil. Now I have a project to work on.   
  
Reviews are very much loved. :D 


	3. Feathers

In Repair; Chapter 3: "Feathers."  
  
First and foremost - Yes, I am female. What a surprise.  
  
Wow! People really seem to be enjoying the fic! I feel...accomplished? Maybe. For now, THE ANSWER TO THE CLIFFHANGER OF DOOM. Excuse the long time waiting; school, writer's block, and other things like to fling themselves at me. Ugh.   
  
Lyrics used at the beginning and end of the chapter come from Tool's song "H". That band is THE Muse for my slash ficiton.  
  
**kaze-sui, the fangirl who wouldn't let me get lazy:** Steve: -gets poked with stick- I feel so violated.  
  
**A Ballerina Bunny Girl-Akari:** Cliffhangers were invented to make people hate them. Kinda like wasps.  
  
**Battosai Yuriko:** Shhh! You're not supposed to know my master plan!   
  
**DallysGirl4Life:** Feel free to use the devil girl idea! ^_^  
  
**Joce:** -gasp!- HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Are you a ninja? :3  
  
And to all my other reviewers:   
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_I am too connected to you to  
Slip away, to fade away.  
Days away, I still feel you  
Touching me, changing me,  
And considerately killing me..._  
  
"J...j...." Pony's voice gurgled as it caught in his throat, grey-green eyes wide as the moon. It was a dream, it had to be. But...it felt so real...  
  
"Heh." A small grin came from the one before him. Pony tried to study what he was seeing.  
  
Before him stood the boy he was in love with; in his traditional blue jeans and jean jacket, black t-shirt taunt against his small frame. Soft, deep brown eyes closed ever so slightly as he grinned; black hair heavily greased. What was different about the sight was the pale, whitish glow, the kind Pony had always read in books, the kind angels have...  
  
"Johnny! Wha?!" Pony was going out his mind with confusion and cluttered feelings. The dead sixteen year old just held up his right hand, stopping Pony's words in his mouth.   
  
"I'll explain." That same, gentle, quiet voice Pony had heard in the park. It echoed in the darkness, etheral, like a ghost passing through the barrier between living and dead. Pony silenced himself, letting the dream speak. Still, the boy couldn't understand what he was seeing; was this an inner fantasy? It had to be; ghosts and angels didn't exist. Never have, and never will.  
  
Johnny's soft, gentle smile never left his tanned face as he explained, the etheral, echoing voice rang through the darkness, clear and loud. "Me and Dal, we see you guys all the time. We know what each of you are feeling, thinking, and wanting. Fearing. Hurting inside about." Pony flinched, but Johnny continued nonetheless, "You don't see us, but we see you. We're always there, watching you. We can't be heard, seen, or smelled. We're...well, ghosts, I guess. If that's what you wanna call us."  
  
Ponyboy stood there, confused. His brain tried to register this, and Johnny just smiled more, knowing he didn't believe him.  
  
"I know you're in love with me." The black-haired boy stated.  
  
Pony looked at him. Johnny just kept that soft, soothing smile, dark brown eyes resting on the fourteen year old before him. "And I know, you need to tell me before you can move on. So, best do it now, huh?"  
  
The auburn-haired greaser was stunned. This wasn't real, it was a dream. A dream, and if he wished it away, it would end. He wanted to cry; Johnny was there, but he knew it couldn't be real. The dark skinned boy frowned, noticing this inner turmoil, and came closer to Pony. Reaching out without hesitating, he placed a rough hand on the younger boy's soft cheek, stroking it with his thumb. The younger boy stopped thinking; he just stared at Johnny.  
  
"Ponyboy...I love you too." Pony made a small noise in his throat, and Johnny leaned forward to kiss the younger boy softly. Pony whimpered; Johnny's lips tasted so sweet...he moved his tongue out to gently taste Johnny's lips, and to his dissapointment, the black haired boy pulled away.  
  
"Johnny..." Pony swallowed hard; all the pent up emotion and unrequinted love was starting to stream from his eyes in glistening tears. Johnny's face no longer held a smile, but a expression of sadness; his face still close to Pony's, his dark brown eyes were locked onto Pony's pale green ones. Raising a tanned hand, he gently brushed the tears from his eyes.  
  
"Don't cry...that's not what I came to do..." but Pony only cried more, and grabbed Johnny, burying his face in the older boy's black t-shirt, whimpering and cursing. Johnny stroked the younger boy's hair as he cried, his black eyes full of a sorrow that made his face harden. He held Pony against him, face buried in the soft auburn hair.  
  
"Why? Why won't you let me kiss you?" Pony's voice was weak and breaking. "Johnny, please..."  
  
"Because...you need to find someone else..."  
  
Pony clutched onto Johnny, his tears subsided. Eyes still closed, he listened for Johnny's heartbeat; he'd always dreamed about lying against Johnny, listening to the gentle sound of his heart. But, he could not hear anything within the older boy's lithe frame. He glanced up at the older boy, who was looking down at Pony.  
  
"Johnny...you...what are you..."  
  
The pale glow that had surrounded Johnny before and illuminated both boys intensified, as from Johnny's jean-covered back sprang a mass of radiant white light. Pony shielded his eyes, then as the glow died down, he made out the outspread shape. Wide, and covered in soft, downy feathers, one sprouting from each side of Johnny's back. His words caught in his throat.  
  
"...A...a...a..." Pony couldn't form the words. All he could do was point, bewildered, at the feathery appendages.  
  
"Angel." Johnny said simply, folding the wings inwards so they rested behind his back. Pony couldn't believe his eyes. This definately WAS a dream!  
  
"Pony." Johnny's voice was hard and serious; a very rare thing for the timid boy, "You need to move on; there are people all around you who want you to, and know you can. I hoped I wouldn't have to come and tell you it myself, but..." he sighed, "as much as I wish I could stay with you, like this, forever, I can't...ya gotta move on."  
  
Pony shook his head. "Johnny, no! I won't! I can't! Not while your standing here, as real as ever! Please!" His voice cracked, starting to cry again, "Please!"  
  
Johnny's face went bleak, a helpless look upon it. Pony's insides turned icy; the feeling was so strong, it had to be real.   
  
"There's someone else who wants you to love them...that's all I can say. They're close, but when you find out, it'll be strange to you...please, be with them." Johnny's voice even sounded weak and helpless. Pony ran to clutch onto the boy again, never wanting him to go.  
  
"Johnny, no! Don't leave me again!"   
  
The last thing he saw was the tear-streaked face of Johnny.  
  
And he was smiling.  
  
-------  
  
It was late that night, and not even school, a movie, and at least six smokes could calm his nerves. This, being his seventh smoke, and the clear image of Johnny's smiling face was plastered inside Pony's mind. He couldn't understand it still; was it a dream? Had it really happened? It all seemed so strange, and as he took a long drag on his slowly dying cigarette, he let his mind think. He hadn't had much time to do so since he'd gotten up late this morning, rushed to school, went out to the movies with a very drunk Two-Bit, and rushed home to do his piles of homework.   
  
Pony watched the small wisps of smoke from the burning cirgarette dissolve into the air, curling and dancing, then dissapearing...and he thought, what had Johnny meant? He knew he had to move on; but...someone love him? Now? This very minute someone was thinking about him, Pony thought. And his curiousity grew even stronger.  
  
His mind was rudely awakened by footsteps coming from behind him. He'd been waiting for Soda to come home from girl-hunting with Steve, but maybe it was Darry, since the footsteps sounded like shoes, and Soda hated to wear those. Turning his reddish brown head, he looked over his left shoulder at the shadow standing in the lit doorway.  
  
It was Steve. Pony furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but Steve said nothing and sat down next to him. Pony just shrugged, thinking that maybe the swirly haired greaser just wanted some fresh air. Putting out his cigarette, Pony started to stand up to go inside, when he felt a hand grab the corner of his shirt.  
  
"Pony. Stay." Steve's voice was cold, but Pony, curious, sat down again.   
  
"What?" Pony didn't want to look at Steve; he was afraid he'd see that same strange glint in the brown eyes of the seventeen year old.  
  
It wasn't even a second, and Pony was being crushed in the warm, muscular arms of Steven Randle. He struggled, unsure of what was going on, and whimpered as he felt the warm, salty taste of Steve's lips upon his own. He struggled, and Steve held him closer, and Pony felt Steve's hard, taunt muscules beneath his tight blue t-shirt. It was then he felt Steve groping him, feeling his slender body with his rough, oil-stained hands. He thrashed, and bit down hard on Steve's bottom lip, drawing blood. But still, Steve held him close, hands running over Pony's body, and through his rusty hair.  
  
And then something in Pony's fearful mind clicked.  
  
The glint in Steve's eyes that he'd seen numerous times. What Johnny had meant by someone loving him.  
  
He understood now.  
  
No longer struggling, he leaned into the older boy, letting his tongue into his mouth for a deeper kiss. He let his own hands wander over Steve's shoulders and back, and tried to enjoy this moment. Moaning softly, Steve drew him into his lap, tongue massaging against the younger boy's.   
  
He needed to move on.  
  
-------  
  
And then, somewhere far away, perched on a building top, there sat a angel-winged boy, and a smoking hoodlum deep in conversation, surveying the scene from a good distance...  
  
"So, didja get through to him?" Johnny's soft voice asked Dally, smiling widely as he felt Pony's happiness at that moment.   
  
Dally flicked a half-burned cigarette out of his hands, and laughed grimly. "His head was too far up his ass for him to get me, but I guess he decided to take it out and listen." A red, forked tail flicked out to point in the direction of the Curtis' house. "And from the way things are goin', I'd think he got the message just fine."  
  
With a mutual laugh, the tanned angel and the white haired devil dissapeared from their spot on the rooftop.  
  
_And as the walls come down and  
As I look in your eyes  
My fear begins to fade  
Recalling all of the times  
I have died  
and will die.  
It's all right.  
I don't mind._  
  
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Yes, there will be more chapters. Even if this does make a good ending...  
  
Reviewers! What did you think?! I know, half-assed job on this fic. School and all... -.- 


	4. Memories

In Repair; Chapter 4: "Memories."  
  
Warning: SAP. Oh yes. Bubbly fangirls, prepare to gush. Angst hounds...uh...amuse yourself?   
  
Ah yes. I am continuing it! Oh em gee. But this could be the last chapter; since I don't really have much of an idea...on second thought, maybe another chapter or two. Make it decent length. Yeah, that's the stuff! (Now to run from the Hostess lawyers.)  
  
Am planning another fic, an R one. Not sure on the pairing yet though. (And I ain't too fond of Dally, so...meh.)  
  
Too lazy to type out individual notes to the reviewers, and besides, all it does is take up space. A good hearty "THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE!" is good enough, I feel. Ne? Now to fix my winamp so I can write this thing to the right music...  
  
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Ponyboy lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling, the salty taste of Steve still faintly on his tongue. He moved his tongue back and forth, enjoying the taste...and by what happened tonight, it looked like he'd be tasting the same flavor for a long time. The young greaser could hear his older, blonde brother sleeping peacefully next to him, stirring occasionally. Pony had no idea what time it was, and how long he'd been up, thinking about what happened that very night. He decided to let his thoughts drift back...  
  
------------------  
  
Steve and Pony's moans eventually melted into one another, their kiss becoming deeper and more passionate. Their hands wandered everywhere, and the auburn-haired greaser whimpered as Steve's rough hand stroked his sensitive spot and inner thighs. Naturally, the younger greaser was too shy, and pulled out of the kiss, blushing softly. Steve simply grinned.  
  
That's when they heard Darry come home.   
  
With the quickness of a scattering flock of birds, Pony ran into the house and greeted Darry, trying to rid himself of the red in his cheeks. Steve also stumbled into the house, to be greeted with a confused Sodapop, questioning him on where the swirly-haired greaser had gone.  
  
Naturally, Ponyboy and Steve hadn't had any time after their kissing session to really talk. Pony had simply gone to bed, followed by the usual bouncy Soda, while Darry stayed up to handle some bills and other financial papers. Not like Pony could sleep, and still, now, laying there thinking in the darkness, he couldn't slow his thoughts down.   
  
Steve had kissed him.  
  
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Ponyboy opened his pastel green eyes to sunlight, his and Soda's shared bedroom glowing with dawn's light. He'd fallen asleep, dreaming about what had gone on the previous night. But now that he thought about it, lying there in the occupied bed, it didn't seem real. Like some sort of strange fantasy...  
  
He heard Soda yawn and sit up, stretching, his muscles moving beneath his white undershirt as he lifted his hands above his head, grunting. The sunny, golden glow illuminated his brother's blonde hair, making it shine a bright, beautiful gold, very similar to the sunlight. Being as quiet as he could, he snuck closer to his older brother, and pounced on his back.  
  
"Mornin' Pone." Soda grinned cheerfully, pulling his younger brother's head under his arm, nooging him.  
  
"Ack! Sodaaa!" Pony squirmed away, "Shower already! That's some serious BO."  
  
Soda looked insulted, then lifted his arm to sniff. Pony cringed, but Soda shrugged. "It's a manly smell." The blonde said with a straight, bored face, and got up to make some quick breakfast. Pony followed, to find a hung-over Two-Bit on their couch, and Darry hitting him with the morning paper to wake him up.  
  
"Up ya get, oaf." Darry scolded, but Two-Bit grunted and rolled over, curling up in a small ball. Darry sighed and went into the kitchen to help Soda with breakfast.  
  
"It's Wednesday today, right Dar?" Soda reached into the fridge for some cake, while Darry got out the usual plates and silverware. Pony walked into the kitchen, and sat down on a nearby chair, looking down at the wooden surface in front of him. His mind wandered, and he decided he'd go at lunch to see Steve; to talk to his enemy, and see what last night was all about. Did this mean Steve would stop hating him...? Pony couldn't believe that; Steve hated him from the day Soda brought him home from school. Not like Pony could remember that too well, since he'd been a little kid at the time.  
  
Darry nodded an answer, handing two plates of cake to Ponyboy and pushing him along in the living room. "Go give the bum some, it's best to feed him so he doesn't start foraging for food." Pony laughed at his oldest brother's remark, and wandered over to the redheaded greaser asleep on the couch. Poking him, he offered Two-Bit the cake.  
  
Looking over his bare shoulder, he grinned and grabbed the cake, sitting up abruptly. Pony just watched the elder greaser eat; it was amazing how much Two-Bit could eat in a few minutes.   
  
"Uhm...you commin' to school today Two-Bit?" He questioned, and Two-Bit shook his wild, tussled hair.  
  
"Naw, as fun as puking in class would be." He took another forkful of cake into his mouth, grinning with cake-covered teeth.   
  
------------  
  
Ponyboy tried to increase his walking pace even more, but Two-Bit continued to scold him for trying to escape him. Pony was impatient; he wanted to Steve, and fast. He was confused and scared about what had happened, and wanted answers. Two-Bit, on the other hand, was in no real hurry; he was being his lazy self. Pony looked over his shoulder, giving Two-Bit a sharp glare.  
  
"What the hell you so mad about?" Two-Bit's grey eyes widened in surprise, since Pony didn't get vicious often.  
  
"I'm not, just hungry." Pony half-lied; he was really hungry, but the need to talk to Steve was much more important.  
  
As they approached the DX, Two-Bit smirked his infamous smirk and wandered towards the group of girls floating around Sodapop, as per usual. They ignored Two-Bit, but he did get a few girl's attention, and seemed pleased enough by this. Pony walked right by the scene and into the small building, to see Steve walking out of the garage area, cleaning his hands with a grease-covered yellow rag.   
  
Pony swallowed hard. "Steve." he said loud enough for the seventeen year old to hear him.  
  
Steve looked up, brown eyes curious. When he spoted Pony, though, they darkened, the emotion within them unreadable. Wiping the last bit of grime off his hands, he threw the cloth aside and approached the younger boy. Pony started to say something, when Steve grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him into the garage area. Pony freed himself from the grasp, and backed up into a blue Camero, and Steve closed the door to the area. They were alone...for now.   
  
Steve turned a sharp, hardened face to Pony, and approached him in a few steps. Pony backed up more, leaning back onto the car's hood, as the older boy was towering over him, burning brown eyes glaring at him. "If it's anything about last night, yeah, I'm in love with you. I kissed ya, and that's that."   
  
Pony still felt threatened, as the older boy looked more like he'd strangle Pony and hang him from a telephone pole rather than love him. Taking a deep breath, he tried to say something, but couldn't. Steve leaned down hard, and pressing his hard body against the younger boy's, he gave him a small kiss. Pony's eyes were wide open, and Steve pulled away quickly. Pony had just noticed the older boy's shirt was wide open, exposing his well-developed chest and hard, defined stomach. He didn't mean to stare, but Steve's voice soft voice brought his eyes back up to the older boy's.  
  
"I'll come by later tonight for ya, okay? We'll go to the lot and...talk about things. I know you want to." Steve seemed to read Pony's mind, and the fourteen year old nodded quickly. Unexpectedly, Steve gave a wide grin, showing pointed incisors. Pony got the sudden mental image of a vampire prince, and shook it away so he wouldn't burst out laughing. He wouldn't have been able to laugh, though, as Steve leaned down to kiss Pony again, slower and softer than before, wrapping his strong arms around the younger boy's frail body. Pony accepted it, and moved in close, kissing Steve back and wrapping his arms around the older boy's neck. Pony could smell the car exhaust and oil smells on Steve still; it suited him, being the car lover he was.   
  
The two broke apart, and Steve grinned gently at the younger boy. "See you at seven, right?"  
  
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It was chilly out, so Ponyboy had put on a green sweater to keep him warm; even though, he knew, Steve would do that for him anyways. He sat on the front steps, waiting for Steve to show. He was late, Pony knew it. Getting frustrated, Pony yelled at his brothers within the house. "What time is it?"  
  
Darry's loud, deep voice answered. "Seven."  
  
Sodapop's voice chimed in, obviously talking to Darry. "But the clock says six fifty nine! It's not seven yet!"   
  
Pony just smirked and looked out at the road in front of their house. His rear was starting to freeze from the cold steps of their porch, and he squirmed, trying to regain feeling in the area. Instead, after a few times, Pony simply decided to stand, and began pacing about the front porch. Soda opened the front door of the house to question the pacing boy, as he'd been watching him out the window.  
  
"Who you waitin' for?" Soda questioned. "Or ya just explorin' the porch?"  
  
"Steve." Pony said simply, and knew Soda had grinned. Soda had always wanted his brother and his best friend to get along, and this was something new. Something Soda wanted. Happy with the answer, he went back into the house, to tell Darry nonetheless. The aurburn-haired greaser just shook his head and leaned on the railing surrounding the porch, leaning out. He spotted a figure moving towards the house, and guessed it was Steve by the stride. Steve had a certain way he walked and carried himself, one of someone who was very proud.   
  
"Hey." Pony wandered off the porch to greet Steve, and he was scooped up over the older boy's shoulder the moment he got close enough. Pony protested, but Steve just laughed and carried him away from the house. He dropped the younger boy behind a tree, and as soon as Pony stood up, he was greeted with a warm embrace, and a hot, spicy tongue entering his mouth. Moaning softly, he allowed Steve to kiss him, tasting that same salty taste as the night before.  
  
Breaking apart, Steve smiled. "C'mon." And he walked away, towards the lot. Pony, grinning as well, followed the older boy. His old rival, his new lover.  
  
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Yeah yeah, I know. I'll have their big conversation next chapter. My back hurts, as does my poor brain. But, I tried! (And I'd like to apologize for last chapter; cheesy, yes. Different?...Probably not. e_e;) 


	5. Freedom

In Repair; Chapter 5: "Freedom."  
  
Writer's block, project work, and the sudden craving for Naruto manga. I know; I'm a very sorry excuse. And I still dunno when I'm gonna wrap this fic up. Bear with me, fans.  
  
And now, for that lovely convo you've all been waiting for. Where's my music...  
  
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"Clear night tonight, ain't it?" Steve motioned to the sky with a nod of his head, and Ponyboy looked up into the midnight abyss above. Filled with the odd wisp of cloud or two, it was a beautiful site; clear and shining stars covering the dark expanse, and a sliver of moon glowing faintly.   
  
"Least it ain't a full moon," Pony replied, "then that'd just be plain cheesy."  
  
"Mmmhmm." Steve said, not really listening. He was more focused on getting to the lot quickly, so they could hurry up and talk, then get to the good stuff - the kissing. The older boy licked his lips hungrily; he couldn't wait to taste Pony's lips and tongue again. And maybe, if he got really lucky, the young boy's fragile body as well. He tried not to start fantasizing, since the sight of a gigantic hard-on might not make Ponyboy all too comfortable around him. Not like either of them really felt fully comfortable with this in the first place.  
  
Ponyboy stuffed his hands into his pockets and dropped his gaze from the sky, exhaling deeply. He was nervous; he didn't trust Steve. And he knew it would be a long while before he ever would. But, if they wanted this to work, they'd have to talk and find out more about each other; how each other ticked and thought, what they felt. Pony knew it would be alot of work, and decided the first thing he'd say to Steve would be about his old attraction to Johnny. That would clear up any difficulty, and start their talk off well.  
  
"But he'd feel awkward if I said that..." Pony realized, and then decided that would be best saved until later, after they'd talked a bit and gotten comfortable.  
  
Ponyboy shivered slightly, but not from the cold; from fear. He was afraid of Steve, of what was going on. He was hoping they'd come to some sort of point, an agreement, SOMETHING, and he hoped they could be lovers. Pony realized he was actually considering a romantic relationship with his old enemy, and he had to grin - he was happy about it. He was open to whatever Steve wanted, whether the older boy wanted to drop it, or be with him.   
  
The empty lot was coming into sight, and Ponyboy took a deep breath. It wasn't like Steve would hurt him, or say anything truly cold-blooded. Steve would most likely not even talk, just kiss. And at the thought of a warm embrace and the feeling of Steve's soft, moist lips and wet, salty tongue, Pony relaxed entirely.   
  
Steve walked ahead, and Pony watched him approach the small area the gang had made to build fires in. He watched Steve gather some sticks for firewood, and the young greaser flopped down on the hard, dry ground and leaned back, placing his arms behind his head to act as a pillow. He closed his eyes, and listened to the sounds of Steve mumbling things under his breath, striking a match to light the fire. Pony's legs and feet were warmed, and he knew he'd lit it successfully.   
  
Steve sat down hard next to Pony, and the young greaser opened his right eye to glance at Steve. The older boy was looking down on him, that same soft expression on his usually hard face. Pony felt accomplished; he'd never seen that face on Steve until after he'd kissed him. Steve's dark brown eyes were hooded slightly, giving him a sleepy look, with a soft grin across his face. Pony smiled back, and Steve leaned down to kiss the younger boy softly on the lips, only a ghost of a touch.   
  
"Pony, I love you, okay? I have for awhile now...and, I guess, since we aren't that good of buddies..." Steve started to trail off, and Ponyboy sat upright, leaning against the muscular left arm of the older boy.  
  
"It's okay Steve. If you don't want to be together, because it'll damage your rep or somethin'..." Pony trailed off as well. Both boys sat in silence, staring at the warm, glowing flames before them. It crackled peacefully, that being the only sound besides their soft breathing.   
  
"No...I wanna be with ya Pony. I like ya, and I'll be real mad if you turn me down." Steve grinned that same sly, cocky grin of his. Ponyboy wrapped his arms around the older's boys left arm, and leaned his head against his shoulder.  
  
"I wanna be with ya too Steve...but it seems so weird, cuz you're supposed to hate me, and I'm supposed to think you're too damn full of yourself." Pony said, then winced. He shouldn't have said that last part.  
  
Steve was silent for a minute, and Pony was afraid he'd have a black eye in a moment. But instead the older boy shrugged. "That's the way I am. I thought you were a tagalong kid, real annoying, and thinks he's too smart for the rest of us. I thought you were full of yourself too."  
  
"Maybe I am, and maybe you are...but do you care?" Pony questioned, looking up at Steve, trying to cock an eyebrow and failing terribly at doing so. Steve just chuckled and placed Pony into a headlock, messing up his perfectly greased red hair.   
  
"Naw kiddo, you're alright with me." He grinned, and Pony squirmed out of his grasp, mourning over his hair.  
  
"My hair!" Pony tried to fix a flyaway strand sticking out from behind his left ear, and Steve took the opportunity to strike.  
  
Leaning forward and running a rough hand through the younger boy's greasy red hair, he closed his eyes and pushed his tonuge into the younger boy's mouth. Moaning softly, Pony wrapped his arms around Steve's neck and massaged his tongue against his lover's. Steve held Pony closer to him as he tried to push Pony into a laying position, inching ontop of him. Pony broke the kiss for a moment to look at Steve, eyes half closed and feeling lightheaded.  
  
"Before you do anything else, I have to tell ya..." Pony began, closing his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts.  
  
"Yeah?" Steve wasn't used to waiting; he wanted his kisses, and he wanted them now.  
  
"I was...I mean, I am still kinda...uh...." The auburn haired boy swallowed and looked away from Steve's eyes, "I was in love with Johnny..."  
  
Steve was silent, and Pony knew he'd did the wrong thing. Looking off to the side, he closed his eyes and waited for Steve to leave.   
  
But he didn't.  
  
"I guess I could see that happening...I mean, you guys got along real well and everythin', right? And I mean, being alone with him for so long...you'd kinda get the sexual tension goin' there."   
  
Pony turned his head back to Steve to stare. Had Steve really just said that? Hardass, cocky, everything-I-say-is-right Steve Randle? And he'd said something intelligent AND logical. It was a miracle, in Pony's mind. To Steve, it was just to ease Pony's worries.  
  
"Hey kid, it's fine..." he gently stroked Pony's cheek, "now let's not worry anymore, alright?"   
  
Pony grinned. Yeah, that was alright. He could finally move on now; and welcoming the warm embrace Steve gave him, he knew Johnny'd been right. His heart was free again.  
  
And that night, he gave it to his old enemy, without any doubts.  
  
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Yay! It ended! Now I can write a new fic! Wee!  
  
Overuse of exclamation points! Anyways, I didn't like this fic, at all. I found it cheesy, rushed, and well...bad.   
  
But what do you guys think, eh? 


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